Little Woman

It's Women's Month here in SA and besides sending out the odd gif to the ladies in my life on Women's Day and attending my mum-in-law's Woman's Day Church program, I don't usually get involved in many activities surrounding Women's Month. This year however, I feel quite different about it. It could be because the struggles and issues affecting women in our community are becoming a lot more disturbing and lots of young women are beginning to step up and speak out for each other. There is definitely a different atmosphere around the relationships between women today than there was when I was younger.

There's a comradery now that didn't appear to be there before or that I personally wasn't aware of while growing up. Especially when I was in highschool, it was very common to hear girls say, including myself, "I don't get on with girls", or "I only have guy friends." I can safely say at the age of 31, that this was probably the biggest missed opportunity of my life. I will be sure to highlight to my daughter and any other young women whenever I have the chance, that there is nothing so pointless in the life of a woman than despising or disliking other women. In fact it is a great disservice to one's self in the long run.

You only realise when you're older that the relationships you build with male friends have obvious limits that female friends don't. You can have deep and meaningful relationships with the women in your life that continue and deepen long after you are married and have your own kids in a way that becomes impractical and often inappropriate with male friends. I am sure there are exceptions but when women grow together and share their lives with each other, the bonds that are formed can carry you through the most trying of times.

I often proudly say I was raised by women. My mum has been a single mum for most of my life and my only sibling is an elder sister. My mum has 3 sisters who are all very close to me and I also have so many girl cousins and a few precious girlfriends who have all contributed to the woman I am today. All the above women have been examples of strong, enduring personalities who have overcome various challenges in their own lives. As I was growing up, I never really thought much into the fact that they were all women experiencing life  in a society that doesn't exactly prefer them. I just knew that they were always there for me and each other. Although the absence of righteous men in my life has had an impact in various ways, I still feel privileged to have experienced what women can do on their own out of sheer will and determination and how much we can still pour out to others while going through so many challenges ourselves.

I think having this experience made me more comfortable and confident in my own womanhood. If there was something I felt I couldn't do, it was because of other insecurities and never because I was a woman. I've always felt a calling towards women's empowerment and after joining a church community in my early twenties and learning about God's great design and intentions for women, my eagerness to see women, especially in my local community, realise a greater sense of self-worth only grew. However I always felt like I was unqualified to take on any kind of leadership or influential role that would enable me to drive this goal. I resigned myself to just being an example of self respect and support to the women in my immediate circle. 

This year, I became a godmother to a precious little girl and after finding out I'm having a daughter, I have a new sense of urgency to do whatever I can to elevate women so that they are exposed to an empowered community of women who embrace their femininity and the unique strength and grace that God has given us. There is a duality to our nature that is God's perfect design. We have a formidable strength and a nurturing sensitivity, a practical wisdom that works hand in hand with our emotional instincts. The older I get, the more aware I become of the vulnerability of the women in my life. As I go through unique challenges as a young women I often think about how my mum and aunts would have felt navigating similar circumstances. When I consider my mum-in-law who is a very empowered woman, I have an empathy for the underlying struggles that I know are inevitable for every woman who carries the burdens of her entire family without needing to be asked to do so. 

Having this constant awareness and empathy for the women in my life enables me to continue to love and support them despite whatever differences we have as a result of our different life experiences, mindsets or backgrounds. It makes for stronger and more genuine relationships.

I want to make an effort to be there for the women in my life and others who need support and I want my little woman to see what the collective strength of women can achieve in this world. I always want her to have a positive perspective of her femininity and her place as a woman in society and I realise that requires me to do something tangible to create that environment for her. In this next chapter of my life, I know motherhood will bring an extensive list of demands and challenges but I am committed to contributing something to this world that my daughter and many other little girls can benefit from as they grow up to be young women and leaders who will go on to change things even further for women in our country and community.